We were planning to go to the trunk or treat tonight. The last chance for the girls to dress up for Halloween since we are observing the Sabbath tomorrow (at least by not trick or treating). We have been trick or treating the last two nights and we were looking forward to tonight. But its not going to happen. After dinner I asked Adelynne to come sit down so I could do her hair. She told me no. She wanted to go play with a doll her friend let her borrow. I insisted, she sassed me and ended up in a time out. During time out she emptied her doll drawer onto the floor in blatant protest. So then I moved on to Amy. I wanted her to put a sweater on under her costume so she wouldn't be cold. She refused. I wanted the girls to be ready a little early so we could get on the computer to talk to my parents. They said no. After all the "no's" and whining I threw in the towel. I announced that we are not going trick or treating. And I'm not giving in this time. It takes so much work to get these girls ready, to get them out the door, in the car, and on the road. They resist the whole time. I repeat and repeat myself over and over, louder and louder, until I am so angry that I wonder why I am even bothering. The last two nights Dustin and I have threatened that we would not go trick or treating if they didn't obey. Eventually they would obey, after they were threatened, and then we would give in and go. Well tonight I decided that I was going to follow through with my words. I didn't want to get angry at them during the process of getting ready, its just not worth it. Instead, I break their hearts. Adelynne was sobbing. She was begging. She put on her costume and begged me to do her hair. She went on and on, all the while I was wanting to give in, wanting to make her happy. It made me feel awful. All I can hope is that maybe she learned a lesson, hopefully something other than that her mother is so mean.
12 comments:
you are a great mom! i had an experience like this the other night. I was so sick of threatening Easton into obeying me that I told him if he didn't help he didn't get to read books before bed...well he just keep dawdling so no books. He was devastated. It was horrible! I wanted to just give in but then what good would that do? I'm glad I didnt' give in, because the next morning he very calming explained to me why he didn't get to read books and that he was sorry. Anways, way to go Traci!
Sometimes being a mother sucks. But I am proud of you as a mom, you had to do something hard and you stuck to your guns. Now your girls know that you are playing around. Tomorrow will be a better day. Love really is sometimes having to say no and then being a mean mom. But as long as they know you love and care even being a mean mom is ok.
love your mom
That was suppose to be, "Now your girls know that you aren't playing around."
love you
mom
You are a great example Tracy! I feel the same way when trying to leave the house. I bet this will help your girls realize how hard it is for you. It is hard being a mom, and you are doing a great job! Enjoy the rest of your evening at home relaxing, you deserve it.
I've had to do this before as well and they learn quickly (although if you've given in before it takes a couple times). You are a great mom and as a parent we can't always do the fun things.
I think you're doing a GREAT job!! They have to learn--that's the best thing you can do for them!!
I feel like I deal with the same thing every day in one way or another with Molly...it must be the age, right? At least I hope they grow out of this someday. I always hope that my "threat" will work, and I won't have to follow through with it, because I always end up feeling bad, too. But the more I follow through, the more the "threats" actually work, so it must be working, right? Keep up the great work! Just remember you're not alone.
It takes an exceptional mom to care more about teaching than instant gratification. You're doing a great job! When our kids receive consequences, I make sure to emphasize that it was their choice and NOT me that prevented them from getting what they wanted (such as "I'm sorry, but you chose to hit your brother, so you're grounded from computer games today"). Keep up the good work! It's sooooo easy to give in, especially on special occasions.
Oh man, that is sooooo hard! It's hard as a nanny so I imagine it's at least 1,000 times harder as a Mom. I watch many Mom's I work for / with go through this and I just want to clap and cheer because you are all doing yourselves and your kids a HUGE favor by following through and letting them know that their behavior has consequences. Good or Bad. Kids want boundaries. that's why they test. Because they need to know where the boundaries are. Consistency is key in good parenting and you, my dear, are being an excellent parent! Lessons are hard to learn, and hard to teach, but better they are taught now / early on so everyone can move forward with mutual respect and love! I'm majorly clapping for you. I hope you can hear me all the way from NYC. :) xoxo
Go Tracy! I hope one day I will be able to do that because I think it is so important for the kids to learn. I'm just a softy and even when reading the part where you said, "She put on her costume and begged me to do her hair"...it almost made me cry so I think it's awesome that you were able to hold your ground....hopefully, one day I will be able to say that and not always give in :)
I love you. Hang in there!
Tracy, you are a great mom! We've had to do similar things with our kids. The only way they will learn to obey us is if we follow through. We have to make obedience more appealing than disobedience. You did the right thing.
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