Mama Llama's Trauma Drama

This is the true story of my recent health traumas. I am sparing no details, SO, if you don't want to read it, please don't. There will be lots of details about vaginal bleeding and needles and more. Enjoy! (if you want).

So it is Saturday evening and my good friend drops by at 5pm to bring me tickets to the Lafayette Symphony for that night at 7:30pm. My mom was going to watch all 3 girls while Dustin and I escaped to listen to the Symphony. At 6:30 I ate a small portion of mac n' cheese at the table. While eating I felt a warm sudden rush of blood just fill up the pad I was wearing. I thought to myself that it was strange and quickly went to the bathroom. The pad was filled and overflowed, but no blood clots were evident. Still, I thought that it had filled up much to quickly. So I called my OB and he told me to rest, and watch the bleeding, and if it got any worse I should go to the ER. He also suggested that I nurse Aurora to help my uterus contract. So I went and sat down on the couch and nursed Aurora. I sat for about 20 minutes, finished nursing, handed off Aurora, and then felt a small urge to go to the bathroom. I stood up, and as I did, a huge gush of blood poured into my pants, and I proclaimed, "Oh crap, that's a lot of blood." My mom was there beside me and said, "yes it is," as she saw it dripping down my pants on my way to the bathroom. Luckily I was wearing thick sweat pants. I dropped my pants and sat on the toilet, there was blood all over me. I looked at my (once white) underwear and could see nothing but dark blood and blood clots about the size of large grapes. My mom went to get Dustin and then we worked on my strategy to clean up and get me to the hospital. I soon started feeling very light headed and I knew that I was headed to passing out. Dustin was there to hold me and support my body. As soon as I could get clean pants on we headed for the car, but I was not on my feet very long before I started to feel light headed. I nearly passed out, but Dustin was able to get me to the couch before I did. My vision went dark and my hearing went fuzzy, but I think I maintained consciousness. Dustin was able to get me to the car and then we made it to the hospital. When the nurse brought the wheelchair out to the car and I stood up to sit in the chair, I felt another large gush of blood come out. The nurse wheeled me to my room and told me to undress and lay in the bed. When I stood up to undress I felt yet another large gush of blood. I got into the bed as quickly as I could. I was administered oxygen right away as standard procedure for the loss of blood, and then a nurse began poking me with needles. The first attempt at a catheter failed, but the nurse succeeded at the next two. I had to IV catheters in my left arm. Blood was drawn for tests and then fluids were started. Eventually I was given pitocin IV to get my uterus to contract. I started cramping before the pitocin was started, but the cramping definitely got worse afterwards. I don't know how much blood I was loosing once I was on the bed. All I know is I could feel large clots of blood between my legs and feel the blood soaking the towels and sheets under my bottom. I know the nurse asked if she could just throw away my underwear and save the pants for me and I consented, and she was frequently putting new towels under me. Soon I had an ultrasound on my uterus, during which I was in a lot of pain from cramping. The ultrasound technician also had to do an internal ultrasound-- SO incredibly uncomfortable when you are cramping (or any other time for that matter)! Maybe it was before the ultrasound or after, I don't quite remember, but the ER doctor attending me came and did some "scoping" while my legs were up in stirrups (hopefully you know what I'm talking about). Things were in me, and things were really hurting me in my downstairs area. AND he did not seem to be aware that I was recovering from a very large episiotomy. (I know, I'm giving you so much visual)! During the ultrasound I passed a rather large clot-- one that the ultrasound technician could see on the screen and see that it was gone. And after the ultrasound my ER nurse told me, "That was the most impressive clot I've seen." I don't know if that means much coming from an ER nurse, (maybe the delivery nurses see more clots), however it made me feel special. A couple hours later I was stuck for another blood draw, this time in my right arm, and the nurse decided just to make it another catheter in case it would be needed later. Then I signed consent forms for anesthesia and for the surgery. I was definitely overwhelmed at this point. I knew that the surgery was not a huge risk. I know a couple of friends that had to have the same surgery. But it was the risks of the surgery that really frightened me. And of course I was crying like a baby. Dustin gave me a priesthood blessing to comfort and calm me, and then soon I was wheeled down the hall towards surgery. I was told that because of the anesthesia I would not be able to nurse Aurora for 24 hours. I got into surgery and was given an oxygen mask and told to take deep breaths. And before I knew it the lights were out. When I woke up I was not in the surgery room anymore, and I could hear 2 nurses talking. I soon joined in the conversation. Dustin told me he waited about an hour for the surgery (which began at 12:30am) and then my OB, Dr. Schafer, came and told him that the procedure went well. He cleaned out lots of blood clots and possible placenta fragments. After talking to the nurses for at least half an hour they took me up to the mother/baby floor to recover. I think the plan was to send me home in the morning after another round of blood tests were taken. One of my nurses that I had during recovery from delivery, (her name was Klara- and she is originally from Hungary) came by to say hello as she was getting off her shift. She wished me another speedy recovery. Around 4am, as I was trying to rest, I felt a strange shortness of breath and discomfort in my chest. I decided to ignore the feeling and I was able to get to sleep soon afterwards. A couple of hours, or less, later I felt the same shortness of breath, so I decided to call in my nurse, Belinda (originally from Scotland). Belinda came in and checked my vitals but could find nothing wrong so she told me to rest and call her if I felt it again. It wasn't 15 minutes later that I hesitantly called her again. Belinda came right away and checked my vitals again, but couldn't find anything, so she made the decision to call in the emergency team (they are called something like the respiratory response team?) So very soon a team of emergency personnel swarmed my room and started taking blood, taking an EKG, monitoring my breathing and pulse, and I don't know what else. I think this was all around 6am. Belinda told me at least twice throughout Sunday morning and afternoon that I was the most excitement she had had in her two and half years working in the mother/baby floor, and that I brought her back to her old days working on another floor ( I don't remember what unit she had said she worked in previously). Doctors were notified, a cardiologist was consulted, and more tests and procedures were ordered. Throughout Sunday morning and afternoon I was given a chest x-ray, a CT scan, and an ultrasound on my heart. When the CT scan was ordered I was told that I wouldn't be able to nurse Aurora for 2 days. For some reason that just hurt my heart to hear. But I fought back the tears. For the CT scan they injected an iodine solution into my IV and I could feel this weird "hot flash" sensation from my tongue to my vagina-- very strange. Every 2 hours I had my vitals checked, but nothing was ever out of the ordinary... well for me. From my delivery stay the nurses had noted that I tended to have a low pulse (like that of an athlete), and also a low average blood pressure. About every 4 hours I had to pump my breast milk and then dump it. (Termed "Pump and Dump"). Aurora actually did very well with formula. She would spit up a lot more, and was "backed up" more, but at least she would take the bottle. After all my tests were completed and evaluated the cardiologist and Dr. Schafer both told me that there was nothing they could see that was wrong with my heart or lungs. So I was treated for heartburn/indigestion. I am glad they didn't find anything wrong, but at the same time I felt like such a hypochondriac and a bit foolish. I stayed in the hospital through Sunday and was sent home Monday morning.

During my stay I received many phone calls and emails from friends and family wishing me well. I cannot express the amount of comfort this provided. I felt so grateful for everyone's love and concern on my behalf, it of course brought me to tears, and more than once. Still thinking about it makes me emotional. Thank you dear friends and family for your love and prayers!

I am feeling better, but the recovery from the hemorrhaging and surgery has been harder on my body (and mental/emotional state), than my recovery from having a baby was (although in truth, I guess I am still recovering from that too). Well, I'm sure I have been overly dramatic about this experience, but it was very traumatic for me. I know others have been through much more than this, and I hope that from my experience I can be more empathetic to others and there traumas. I certainly hope this never happens to me again, or anyone else for that matter.

*If you are wondering about the title of my post, it is inspired from the book Llama Llama Red Pajama, a children's book that I read to my girls. You should check it out sometime!