Thoughts on my mind

I haven't posted anything in a while. Its not that I don't have anything to post, I do, actually some really cute girls in monster costumes. But those pictures are still on the camera and not on my computer. Life is just rolling forward and when I do have time for such activities as blogging, I often find myself reading Facebook statuses, or trying to catch a nap on the couch. But I am trying to do good things with my "free" time, like read the scriptures, make/finish crafts, and doing housework. Actually something I've been working on lately is making up my own aerobic routine. I will be taking over teaching aerobics on Friday mornings in a few weeks, and I decided to create my own routine. I'm having a lot of fun making it. The day I started creating it, I was so excited about the songs I had completed that I called my mom and told her to watch me do the routine on ichat.

I know I don't normally write things spiritual, but I feel the need to write about the experience I had this morning, and it is simpler for me to write it out here. This morning, before church, I was reading in my scriptures (something that I never do, seriously), and I was reading one of my favorite passages from the book of Alma. A man named Almulek is talking to the people (the Zoramites) about how prophets in Old Testament times prophesied of Christ. The prophet Moses talked of Christ and also did things that were a type, or representation of Christ. Alma Chapter 33, verse 19, "Behold, he was spoken of by Moses; yea, and behold a type was raised up in the wilderness, that whosoever would look upon it might live. And many did look and live." This verse refers to when the children of Israel were in the wilderness and poisonous serpents were sent to plague the people. Moses made a staff with a symbol of a snake on it, and he told the people that if they looked upon the staff, they would be healed from the poison of the snakes that bit them. Verse 20 goes on, "But few understood the meaning of those things, and this because of the hardness of their hearts. But there were many who were so hardened that they would not look, therefore they perished. Now the reason they would not look is because they did not believe that it would heal them." Sometimes I read this verse and I think about myself and if I had lived at this time, would I have believed and looked, or would I have been too prideful? But as I read through the passage this morning, it was verse 22 that moved my heart and stirred my emotions the most. Verse 21, "O my brethren, if ye could be healed by merely casting about your eyes that ye might be healed, would ye not behold quickly, or would ye rather harden your hearts in unbelief, and be slothful, that ye would not cast about your eyes, that ye might perish?" And verse 22, "If so, wo shall come upon you; but if not so, then cast about your eyes and begin to believe in the Son of God, that he will come to redeem his people, and that he shall suffer and die to atone for their sins; and that he shall rise again from the dead, which shall bring to pass the resurrection, that all men shall stand before him, to be judged at the last and judgment day, according to their works." I guess I just felt at that moment of reading those words, that if I had lived at the time of Moses and believed I could have been healed by looking upon the staff, and that I believe now, so my eyes, my heart need to look to Christ, because He is the only way I can be healed.

I don't know why this particular passage reached out to me, I wasn't searching for it, but it came to me, most likely because I needed it, but I didn't know that I needed it. I know the Holy Spirit was with me and gave me that assurance, that testimony that Jesus Christ is the One that I must look to.

And then today in Relief Society a beautiful lesson was presented by my friend Emily Z, about the second coming of Jesus Christ. Emily asked the women what our feelings are when we think about when Jesus comes again. Her question made me remember how a month or so ago, Adelynne and Amy started talking about the world ending, and they asked me, "Mommy, will it be scary when the world ends?" I know as a child and teen that the thought of the world ending was very scary to me. And sometimes it still is, but then I remember that the Savior is going to come, and that will not be scary. That will be joyous and wonderful. So I told my girls. "Its not going to be scary because Jesus is going to come and we will be so happy to see Him, and He is going to take care of us." I want my daughters to look forward to the Savior returning. I know that if I live my life the best I can, and keep the commandments, and be kind to others, that when the Savior comes again, I will be happy to see Him. That is what I want to teach my children. There are definitely things that scare me about the approaching days leading up to the Savior coming. I not only have that worry, that my children will stray from their Savior and His church, but I fear that if they do stay faithful, that they will be harmed or killed by the wicked. But I know the Savior is in control. God gives and God takes away, and He will make it all okay. I hang onto my faith and I hope for the best for my children and their future. I know it is more important to live my life as faithfully and diligently as I can each day than to worry and focus on what might happen and when it might happen. I am grateful for my faith, I am grateful for God's mercy.

Today after church, Adelynne and Amy played together so well. They were so kind to each other, it was so nice to hear them playing. They even happily cleaned their room together. They were so excited to clean their room (!). They turned on their cd of songs and decided that if they finished cleaning their room before the music they would get a prize. Then they came to me and asked what the prize was going to be. Ha! Adelynne asked if it could be a pie, or a cake. Um. I came up with something to make them happy, and they went back to cleaning their room, and they REALLY cleaned it. All the toys put away, they even cleaned under the rug and swept and vacuumed. They were so darn proud of themselves, and Amy came out several times to tell me in her excited little Amy voice, "Cleaning my room is so much fun! Its not fun when you only pick up one thing, but when you clean all of it, its fun!" HAHA! Then after they finished cleaning their room, they wanted to decorate their room by making hearts and hanging them on strings around the room. (That has been delayed until tomorrow), but they did make a poster (by taping pieces of paper together), and Adelynne wrote L O V E on one part, and Amy drew hearts and wrote her name. And then they taped that up on the wall. They are just so excited for people to see it when they come to their room. Then they wanted to sleep on the same bed tonight. And then I told them to pick out their clothes for tomorrow, and they decided that they want to be twins tomorrow and they are just so excited to wear the same thing. It just all seems to good to be true. They fight all week long and are mean to each other, and then its overload be nice to each other. Cracks me up, but I love it! Oh, and the girls got brownies for their prize.

On Friday, I ran out of gas in the car for the very first time in my life. I was less than a block away from the gas station. I had been waiting to get gas in the car until I could make it out to Sam's Club, and Friday I was finally able to make it out to Sam's. But not really, because the car didn't have enough gas to get me there. I had just driven through one stop light when the car started decelerating and I told Amy, "Start praying, Amy, start praying!" She asked why and I told her the car was out of gas. Then of course I started praying. Just let us get to the gas station, please. But it was very apparent that the car wasn't going to get me there, so then I just

started praying that we could get off of the main road and be safe. The car barely made it onto this little turn down into the strip mall that is across the street from Sam's Club. I had my hazard lights on because the car was going so slow and I was worried a car would come up behind us going too fast and rear end us. Luckily this little turn goes down a little hill so that the car was able to cost down it into a parking spot behind the Walgreens. I was a little startled how the car lost all power and how difficult it became to steer the car, but we made it safely into a parking spot. Amy kept asking me what was going on. Then she started saying, "Its going to take forever for us to get home. What if Daddy is home and he's all by himself and it gets dark. We're gonna die!" No Amy, we're not going to die, no Amy its not going to take us forever to get home. Don't worry about Daddy, he's at school. Sam's Club is just across the street. She was definitely concerned, but she was a good little trooper. After taking a breath I got out the stroller and Amy and Rori and I walked over to Walgreens hoping to buy a gas can, but we had no luck. So we went across the street to Sam's, but no luck there either. We made one last try at Marsh's grocery, but nope, they don't sell gas can's either. So I called a friend who was able to come to my rescue. And then we got gas and went home. Next time I won't wait for the gas light to let me know that the car is empty. I guess you can't rely on the indicator lights (because they don't always work)!

That's it for now.